Why don't people keep their word anymore? Selling over the Internet.

I was born when a person's word was his/her bond. This is an outmoded concept as I have discovered trying to sell an antique dining room set over the Internet, or from a reference off the Internet. I put the ad for the nine piece set complete with pictures on www.Bargaintrader.com which I used a few years back to sell my boat. Well, not much happened for a while, but I did get some of the obvious phishing and scam emails: "I wish to be buying this set; I am live in London, Engaland. I will arrainge for my shipper...." Those of us savvy enough know how those go.

I finally decided to go local and find an antique dealer. I found the Virginia Bazaar near Ladysmith, VA and took my pictures of the furniture there to see if anyone would be interested. Well, karma be with me, the owner of "Sweet Gum Antiques", Herb Herther, really wanted it, took my name, address, agreed to my ridiculously low price, and even wrote out on the back of his business card: "9 PIECE JACOBEAN DR SUITE--$450.00 SOLD" with his signature. He told me he would make arrangements to pick it up in May (of 2007), but if I need to get rid of it earlier just to give him a call and he'd come up to get it. In June I called him and he began to make excuses and such, that he'd have to see it first to see if he would even want it----condition was discussed originally when I met him in Ladysmith. He said he would call me back when he was free from the shop, but never did.

Here is a guy who was a US Marine Aviator, and a Marine Officer. Marines don't lie, and Marines take responsibility. He was a big disappointment, even with his war stories, and seemingly genuineness and honesty. If you go to the Virginia Bazaar, avoid his shop. He obviously does believe that his word is his bond----nor, essentially, a written contract. Hey Herb, Semper Fi!

I kept the ad on the Internet and continued to get a chuckle out of the attempts by "Englishmen" who could barely write in English. Early this past April, however, I had a message on my answering machine from a lady named Sue Arndt up in Viola, Wisconsin who really wanted to buy the set. I was obviously cautious and called her back. She was really nice, and, and a native speaker of "American English". I checked her out thoroughly via the Internet, and Sue Arndt was legit, or so I thought. She wanted the set, but in the meantime, the sideboard became spoken for, and I had revised the ad to reflect this. She really wanted the entire set, and asked me if our neighbor would consider giving it up for cash. I told her I would check. My neighbor told me to go ahead and sell the sideboard with the rest of the set. Fortunately this did not affect our friendship.

Sue Arndt also was trying to set up a shipper to pick it up (I should have known!) or was thinking of renting a U-Haul to take it back, because she and her husband were thinking of visiting relatives in Alexandria, VA. She called quite a few times so I figured, along with the life story she gave me, and her really down-home ways, everything was okay. She said she would get every detail together and call me back. She was shooting for the latter part of May 2008. Yes, of course I never heard back from her again! She also assured me that the sale was good to go. I wrote her a short note at the beginning of June, but never received a reply. If you've got an ad in any of the online classifieds and she gives you a call, don't let it go as far as I did. Obviously she has improved on the email scams. She almost got me. Or, maybe she just decided to leave me hanging out to dry.

The old saying, "A man's word is his bond." applies, as far as I'm concerned, to women, too. Besides lying to me, she also endangered a friendship of 20 years, and brought back memories of my dead parents, from whom I inherited the dining room set. I had finally reached the point in my bereavement that I was able to part with this part of my life. So, Sue Arndt, you really did more than amuse yourself with me by playing me along: You brought up memories and personal pain that I finally, after 17 years, was getting over. I'll put the ad for the dining room set back out there, because I need to get over the grieving process, and I have to restore my belief in honesty of people.